he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
