Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
