end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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