white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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