Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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