some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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