Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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