The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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