I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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