Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
