So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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