Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Bring me that man meat
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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