it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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