when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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