So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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