just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
