Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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