did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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