Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
