Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dignity is for republicans.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
