hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
