I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize