This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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