White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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