how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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