Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it