Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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