Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
