he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize