Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
