when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
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I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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