Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
