so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
