All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
