roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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