More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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