Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he shaved USA in his pubs
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
