dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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