She announced her abortion via fbk
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize