I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
