and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
