She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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