There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
