the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
