you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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