toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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