It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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