would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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