the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Shame is for Republicans.
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