ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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