Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
