My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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