dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
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No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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