I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
