I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
