it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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