You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
