Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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