WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
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Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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