i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
