yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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