i would punch a child for taco bell
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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